Party of Train Wreck

I'm not sure why I made a blog, perhaps I missed talking to myself with the hopes someone else reads it and validates me! But I know I need validation from no one else, now if only that sunk into the brain, right? I have no rants of significance, just my very ordinary moderately privileged life.

The past couple days I've been a bit of an emotional trainwreck, suppose that's the most...pg phrase that comes to mind. Events/things/explosions that I feel I should be over, I'm still limping along like a victim of war. Never been hurting this long after events...there were more tendrils of challenge than usual, but one would still think after half a year it wouldn't damn well hurt. But...it does daily and then days like these past few, it's hurt more then the mild twinge. I feel that too much time has passed to get resolution, why open up others wounds, granted I'm not sure there are wounds, possibly just anger. I know, I'm still plenty angry, hurt, confused, but...I still have moments where I miss it. NOT the complications, NOT the way it worked, just...I dunno....

Then add in, complications that never got resolved and I proceeded to stuff under the rug to focus on other things have just made other things worse. Talking that out was interesting, went better than expected. We'll see how it goes though. Not just me that gets to work with it, but I'm hoping it'll help in other areas of life.

Oh! Plus! My pop had knee surgery as most people know by now, mom went up to visit her sister-in-law and see Avenue Q (I am jealous) leaving me to man the babysitting duties. He's antsy and pushing things he shouldn't be doing. Plus being on call all day is an added stress. Which, is why I've most likely become a trainwreck. We missed dance this week because I messed up the timing of dinner and I needed to feed pop. We still got out of the house, but...we never did dance. And though I suck at it, it's...a retreat, it's something that takes me out of where I am. Because I am not happy or content where I am. Final moving destination may have changed as well. I need to look at California cities now...relationships are compromise I know...and I have strange requirements, lol. Must have good public transportation (I hate driving), weather must be on the cooler side, I have to like the atmosphere, there must be something to do every week! *sigh*

This is not a pity party for one, or an out cry for love & affection (though I will not turn it down). I kept things vague as things are not solely mine to tell. If I love you & you don't know what the bleep is going on message me.

Weekend made of AWESOME, day made of half fail

So for once, I had a busy fun filled weekend, these things are rare...It's like finding something to do at 4 in the morning in Sacramento. It occurs....but rarely without cost. lol. But this weekend was made of win.

Thursday (I know, not technically a weekend, but hush!) was Cal's birthday dinner at my place. I made chicken kiev the easy way. Was oh so good. Had flourless chocolate cake & cream puffs for dessert. With said dessert we watched The Ugly Truth, which I thoroughly enjoyed, regardless of the awkwardness of watching it with the parents. That is definitely not a see with the folks type movie (at least my folks) granted they did seem to enjoy it & my mother has been surprising me on tastes lately, some of which I could have done without. Cal got prezzies, which is always an awesome thing & I got snuggles!!!! What? >.> I like them....

Friday was the much anticipated Swing Dance lessons at Midtown Stomp. Cal & I are in a different class than the drop in class, which I hadn't realized when I paid for the month. We're doing Lindy Hop, speaking of which I need to practice tonight, Step, Step, Triple Step....Must remember that...Anyways. Our teachers are hilarious, nice, & awesome. No, seriously. Especially Kelly (yes...she has the same name as me, this does not impact my view of awesomeness >.>) she started class out by saying she cursed a lot & later complained she was pale but was more afraid of McCloud's ass. They were knowledgeable which was nice as well. Even the bathrooms were swanky! The women's had a little table with a tablecloth! and chairs in addition to a mirror. That was in a separate room from the actual stalls, which was nice. We only stayed for the class because Chris & John decided the ratio of women to men wasn't up to par. They promise next week to participate, which I certainly hope is true, because I want to actually go upstairs & dance outside of class. Besides my love of swing, I did want to do it for the workout. The first class wasn't major, but I did acquire a fine sheen & clumsy feet (I start with the RIGHT, I will get this.....). But towards the end, when I unwound a bit, it was tons of fun. Perhaps this week I'll even trade partners, but I am a bit nervous to. I can feel like an idiot with Cal, but it's harder with others, which I know, means I should do it just to push my bounds regardless but it's hard, okay? Sheesh.....Afterwords we went to Great Escapes to buy....nothing! Well that's not true, Chris bought a starter deck for L5R from the new set. We headed to Chris' after that to unwind, though Cal & I were still Step, Step, Triple Stepping it occasionally. It is actually amazingly fun, like...grown up skipping. When Cal & I finally dragged our tired butts back to my place it was closing in on midnight, we watched 2 episodes of Castle (I am now caught up! Ha ha!) & then tumbled sleepily into bed.

Saturday we went to see Rent, with the original Mark & Roger (same as the ones in the movie). That was awesome! The theater wasn't even half full I don't think. Was very surprising. I enjoyed it quite a bit. But, I doubt I would go see it again. I don't tend to like depressing things much. I enjoy them...and then don't watch them again. To me life is depressing enough, tyvm. Got Chinese food for dinner (om nom nom.....deliciousness incarnate is Full Moon Palace) after dinner (& dishes) we went to Cal's place since the poor guy works on Sundays, even worse since it was Super Bowl Sunday!

Sunday, I luxuriously spent in bed. I played WoW & slept. Was GLORIOUS, I really do like the new WoW dungeon finder, though that day was the first day I found elitist rude people who booted me for being an incapable player. Grumble.... After quick showers we headed for the after party at Chris's Mmmmm, bar-b-que & Harry Potter Clue, what more could a girl ask for? No...seriously...what better thing is there then HP Clue? It's AWESOME! But...for some reason, topics that were bandied around got my brain in a strange place & I left in a not so great mood, that sorta lasted into today.

So...Monday.....when everyone else has the day off Cal had school & work. We hit school, & I got a message from house complaining about me not being home. I couldn't do anything about it at the time, so I called, informed, & got yelled at more. Ignored best I could. On the way out, got another message, didn't respond this time & decided to hit Metropolis Comix. I love that he remembers what you buy & your taste. I just went, Hi...gonna bug you, Planetary & Grimm haven't come out yet, I need new comics. I came home with 3 new ones to try. Woo hoo! Perhaps it was 4..either way. Did some errands & headed home to endless chores till I got to sit down closer to 7. After that I discovered 4 things. 1) Fyrinnae order came in. Woo hoo!!!!!!!! 2) My Advanced Photoshop came in 3) I was informed by the lovely, awesome, amazing Samantha that "Gorgeous doesn't even begin to describe" me regarding my model & not so model photos, I convinced her to come play with me this summer! Wheee!!! 4) Same Samantha poured adoration over the care package I sent her (chocolate & handmade wrist warmers do have that effect on people) So...middle part of the day sucked horribly & I was frustrated & miserable, but it got better.